BEFORE 40 Part2

Before 40 continues.
Part 2
The following week, I took Bernard to my family house to meet my parents. To their surprise, I didn’t just introduce him as my fiancé but also gave fixed dates for our family introduction, engagement and wedding ceremony, all within the next two months.
“The next two months?” expressed my father in shock. He disagreed. I stubbornly made him realise the most important persons needed to consummate a marital relationship are the man, the woman and of course; God. Others are just supporters whose presence is no determinant. I hid the true reason for my abrupt decision from them. After much whinning about being of age, 35years fast approaching menopause, he succumbed. But he firmly advised I see our parish priest for prayers and counselling.
My mother wanted a big society wedding where she would invite friends, families both home and abroad to come celebrate with her but got no luxury of that as we had limited time on our hands. I also thought in line of the sentiment my mother expressed. How good would it be to have adequate time to plan the wedding? I wanted to have my cake and eat it. With anxiety building, I suggested Bernard put me in the family way. So while the seed of fornication grew in me, counting down to 9months; the expected time of delivery, I would save more time to plan my dream wedding. Did you just say “aahhh!”? So did Bernard in expressing his disappointment. I felt ashamed as a Christian when he declined. Unlike most men, he didn’t jump at the proposal. Rather, he wanted such intimacy within wedlock. Till the wedding night, he didn’t do as much as hug me. Even with that, his cling was usually so loosed with space in-between, large enough someone else could fit in.
As my father advised, on two occasions, we fixed an appointment with Reverend father Jeff but couldn’t make it. Reason being that my husband-to-be didn’t keep to date. The third time, I virtually dragged him by his collar before we eventually met with the Reverend. His nonchalant attitude to the things of God was one of the reasons I should have given my decision a 2nd thought, but what I stood to gain from the union beclouded my  reasoning that I couldn’t see the handwriting on the wall, though the words were so boldly written even the blind could see.
Instead of Rev. Father Jeff to just counsel and follow through with our plans, he asked us to go wait patiently in prayers while he sought the face of God over our decision.
“Wait patiently? I’m fed up of all these so called ‘Ministers of God’. Should he be the one to dictate our lives? said Bernard in anger. I felt slighted by his rude expression but didn’t keep it to heart. Really, waiting was just one commodity we couldn’t afford. Already it was 12months and few days to the stipulated date of forfeiting his inheritance. By the way, going by my relationship history which was known to Rev. Father Jeff, I didn’t expect any delay from him when at last I eventually clenched a relationship to the point of marriage. I was done waiting. Already I had waited for 18years, splitting those irrecoverable years amongst four different men in relationship. “Shedrach..........., hmmn!” the thought of my first love brought back sweet memories. I was a fresh undergraduate when we met on campus. It was a dream come true when he proposed relationship cos I had even outlived that moment in my world of fantasy. My Mum had warned me to be careful of men but I wouldn’t mind throwing caution to the wind; drowning in the ocean of love so far as it would be with Shedrach. He was the perfect example of my ideal man: good looking, a straight-A student, and above all; God-fearing. The 4years we spent loving each other, plus occasional periods of strike action in-between;  that accumulated into an additional 1year, had been the best time of my life. We went for our youth service with plans of a future together, all of that became a mirage when he travelled abroad for his masters and took along 6years of my life. After about 4months of not hearing from him, he sent me a mail of 4simple words, yet strong enough it rended my heart to shreds:- MOVED ON.DO LIKEWISE.
Life without Shedrach was as good as death. Locked in my room for days as though in seclusion like a woman who just lost her husband, I starved myself till my tummy was as flat as my back, wept so hard I drenched my pillow to drips. When my eyes would let down tears no more, they caught sight of the ceiling fan and a rope nearby, then I considered putting an end to my miserable life. It took the intervention of Rev. Father Jeff, administering the scriptures and prayers he gave most of his time to, before I was knocked back to recognising the essence of life. “You two were not meant to be, the right man will come at the right time,” he said.
I thought I could never love any other man and was considering the Convent, when Franklin came my way and swept me off my feet. Then I realised I wasn’t cut out for the Abbey.
Frankly speaking, Franklin was a perfect replacement for Shedrach. It felt like the Lord Jesus Christ going away and sending his disciples the Holy Spirit; the comforter. As though acting in that capacity, he reminded me of all I and Shedrach shared and almost all Shedrach represented. Like him, he was also tall, dark and handsome; loving and caring and as well religious. Following Shedrach’s silly advice to move on, I eventually succumbed to Franklin after few months of wooing. We had dated a couple of times when one day, he tried luring me into his bed, which Shedrach never did. He was surprised when I told him I was a virgin. “Virgin? This age and time?” he expressed in amazement. He respected my decision to wait till our wedding night. He further showed his commitment by putting a ring on my finger. Isn’t that impressive? When I’m not with Franklin, I’m fumbling with his band, imagining what lovely couple we would be. Four years down the line, all I could hold on to was his round silvery, metal object on my finger, no plan to tie the knot. Mounting pressures turned in from families and loved ones. I began reasoning with friends who teased, calling me ‘Lord of the ring’.
Coming back from office one evening, I decided to stop-over at Franklin’s house to discuss my worries. From the look of things, he was around as expected. I let myself into his living-room, called out for him but got no response. I walked over to his bedroom, swung open the door and almost dropped dead at the sight before me. TO BE CONTINUED........