THE SOLDIER'S STORY
Written By Agboola Grace
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I was just twelve when I was given out in marriage. The pain and agony I endured from a man who was old enough to father me forcing himself on me still sends a shiver through my spine.
I became his slave and he, the slave master. I would work tirelessly on his various farmlands on empty stomach till he was pleased with my work. Working on empty stomach became my ordeal.
As if the emotional torture was not enough, my husband would always seize every opportunity to exercise his fists on me.
“I own you and can do whatever I like with you, dead or alive!” he would always roar at his moments of anger towards me.
Well, I could not argue with him because of a truth, he owned me.
My parents had borrowed some money from Adelani few years back and were unable to pay back. Adelani however seized the opportunity to make me his wife as a settlement for my parent’s debt. The latter did not see it as a bad idea, infact, it was a relief to them as it was the norms in Kufi town.
Since my life began with Adelani, I became a living corpse; because I had died a million time. I died each time he forced himself on me. I died whenever he beats me. I died anytime he hurled insults on me.
As a young girl, I had dreams. I would listen to my father’s wireless radio everyday and would wish I was the one speaking. I have always dreamt of becoming a broadcaster someday; but what did I get? At 12, I was already forced into adulthood. All hopes for a better future shattered and by then, reality dawned on me that a girl child isn’t meant to be what she wished to be but what the society wanted.
Eventually, I got used to how mean life could be. I decided to embrace my fate like every other young girl in my shoes.
At twenty three, I had become the mother of three wonderful children. Whenever I looked at my girls, I saw strength and hope for a better tomorrow something my parents never saw in me. I vowed never to let my girls suffer the same lot as I. My eldest daughter would always tell me how she earnestly wished to become a doctor so as to be able to take care of me and other women in Kufi who suffer from domestic violence. I always chuckle. Even though I had always prayed her dreams become a reality unlike mine, it all seemed her dreams would never see the light of the day.
Oh yes! Aborted dreams was the order of the day in Kufi; a small town where women are relegated and subjugated.
On a cold evening, after bathing for my youngest daughter, I stumbled on Adelani’s conversation with Odeyemi, his close friend. Something was not right according to my instinct, so I decided to eavesdrop. I almost stopped breathing at my discovery. Adelani was going to marry off my first daughter, Iwalewa to his friend! Instantly, fresh wounds were opened, the memory of how I was forced into marriage as a child stared at me, my only hope for living (my children) was about to crash before me.
“Soon, we’ll become in-laws,” I heard one of the men say, as they laughed hysterically.
I contemplated bumping into their discussion and stating my refusal, but of what use would that be? I would get beaten and my thirteen year old girl would still be forced into becoming the fourth wife of a man close to his grave. I choked on my own breath as hot tears rolled down my cheeks, drifted back to life as I heard a baritone voice shouting my name. I knew it could only be him, yes him! Immediately, I ran to him as any further delay on my part could land me into troubles.
“What happened” I asked with my head down (in Kufi, a woman dare not look into the face of a man).
“Where is Iwalewa?” he asked, ignoring my question
“In her room.” I replied still looking down.
“Alright, go get her for me at once.”
I made to question his order but the scornful look he gave me made me do a re-think. I made for Iwalewa’s room before he lost his patience which obviously would come with a huge price on my part. Too many thoughts flooded my mind as I walked to see our daughter. I brought Iwa before him. As I made to take a seat for myself, he dismissed me saying he wanted to speak to Iwa alone. Without any argument, I made for the door!
It was night already, I waited for Iwa to come speak to me as she never kept things away from me. The waiting seemed endless. I wondered what her father discussed with her though I knew it was related to Odeyemi, I became restless in my spirit.
Did her father take her somewhere?
Or had he taken her to his friend already?
Where is my daughter?
Questions flooded my mind. I made for my children’s room.
“Where is Iwa?” I asked as I fondly called her.
“I don’t know mother” Omotoni my younger daughter replied.
Instantly, my heart raced. I re-tied my loosed wrapper, dashed out of the room and out of the house in search of my child.
Words can’t possibly explain the surge of happiness I felt when I saw her at the back of the house. I carried the Atupa towards her, all I saw was a swollen face as a result of excessive tears. I could hear her muttering words but I couldn’t makeup meanings from them. When she finally spoke, she held my hands and asked me to promise her that I would never allow Odeyemi marry her.
“Promise mama, promise” she said shaking, all full of fear. It dawned on me that was what Delani called her for.
But how could he? How could he think of giving out his underage daughter to his old friend?
My heart broke as I bent towards Iwa. I drew her closer to my bosom and wept. Right there, I knew it was in my place to fight for my daughter, for my children! I would have to fight the long aged tradition of child marriage, I would fight the men for reducing the women to nothing, I would fight Adelani for the torments and pains he had caused me! I gave Iwa my words and promised to make my words my bond as I would stand by it even if it was the last thing I did.
In a long while, I felt a new surge of hope and determination. A new energy overshadowed me. I was going to fight for my girl, for my girls and for Kufi girls. I felt bold instantly, nothing was going to go about it.
“I promise, my daughter .” I said again, reassuring Iwalewa.
Days passed and everything seemed normal. There was no sign of Delani marrying off Iwalewa as proposed.
Perhaps he has changed his mind.
I thought to myself. I was beginning to get relieved until one hot afternoon when Odeyemi walked into our compound with a keg of palm-wine and a small bag which I believed contained money. I jumped to my feet at his appearance and before I could say a word, Adelani came out to welcome him with smiles and embraces. He received the gifts from his friends and requested I bring Iwa.
Delani handed Iwalewa to his friend at the very minute.
“Eh, Iwa; henceforth, Odeyemi here has become your husband, therefore, you must be submissive and do whatever he asks you to and I’m sure he’ll take very good care of you, so you should be happy.”
He handed her by her hands to Odeyemi as he finished his speech.
I could see Iwa’s eyes overshadowed by tears and just as Odeyemi made to leave with her, the tigress in me came out.
“No! Stop! I say Stop! You’re taking her nowhere and there is nothing you two can do about it.”
I screamed with my eyes burning with anger, pointing arrogantly and angrily at the two men. The two friends were dazzled at my outburst, they remained fixed and shocked for they had never seen such effrontery from a Kufi woman.
I looked at my daughter and saw hope and admiration; that was when I became more determined to fight for her and her sisters.
After Adelani recovered from his shock, he lifted his fist against me, but I held him tightly and angrily before he could land it on me. This was indeed another shocker for him. I knew Delani's ego was bruised and I’m sure my actions could cost me my life but I was willing to do everything and anything for my kids.
Immediately, I forcefully took Iwa from Odeyemi and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I went inside the house, strapped my last daughter to my back and held the other two by their hands. I could hear Toni asking where we were off to. I didn’t know myself; all I knew was that, we had to leave before Delani strikes, before the news spread like wildfire and villagers would march into our compound to lynch me for disgracing a man. I took the backyard and we ran dearly for our lives. We ran till our legs couldn’t carry us anymore. But at that time, we were miles away from the people of Kufi. I knew by then, the news would have spread like wildfire and search parties would have been sent out to look for us.
We arrived at Komolafe, a neighbouring town, late in the evening. The people were known for their hospitality and love for not just themselves but for others. A widow took us in for the night and early the next day, we left before the people of Kufi traced us there. The widow gave us some food and money to sustain us through our journey to Kajola; a farther town where we eventually settled. Another good Samaritan accepted us to her house after listening to my story.
From there, I began working hard, did all menial jobs, even the ones supposedly meant for men, just to give my children a good life
Days became months and months turned into years. Iwalewa graduated from a nursing school as one of the best students; she immediately secured a good paying job at an international hospital and also started running a foundation that save women and girls from battery and child marriage, hence, fulfilling her dreams. Omotoni on the other hand had become a chattered accountant in Kowope, also fulfilling her dreams. My youngest daughter, Ireti won a scholarship to study at any reputable school of her choice.
The dream I couldn’t achieve was achieved through my children. If only my parent had stood up against child marriage, my ordeal could have been averted. I had promised myself to fight child marriage and women battery in every possible way. Well, I plan to achieve this through Iwalewa and her foundation because the life I couldn’t live would be lived through my children. I’m now a fulfilled woman, but I really hope to go back to Kufi someday!
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